Title: My Peace
Author: Courtney Cole
Series: Beautifully Broken #5
Release Date: January 13, 2017
Happy endings must be worked for.
Pax Tate used to be an effed up asshole, but you’d never know it now.
He’s got a sexy wife, their own little family, a cozy home, and a successful career.
Everything is perfect.
Until his past rears its ugly head.
Pax will do anything to protect his family,
even if he destroys himself in the process.
Courtney Cole reunites readers with Pax and Mila in My Peace, the brilliant follow up to her new adult novel, If You Stay. It’s been years since I first fell in love with this inimitable pair and yet Courtney Cole had me lost inside their world in no time at all. Filled with powerful emotions and gripping heartache, My Peace is a breathtaking look at addiction and the lifelong battle to hold onto happily ever after. This book takes places years after the original novel, but marriage and a child hasn’t dulled Pax and Mila’s electric connection or obvious chemistry any. Their easy friendship, insatiable desire and undeniable reverence for one another poured off the pages, reminding me why I fell so hard for this couple to begin with. Courtney Cole rounded out this story with the reappearance of several series favorites. Their vibrant personalities brought plenty of heart and a familiar sense of comfort to the novel.
“I’ll never doubt my ability to fall. I’ve fallen hard. And I’m not sure if I’m getting back up.”
Pax stole my heart all over again in My Peace. There is something so raw and honest about this character that just grabs hold of you and refuses to let go. He is beautifully broken, devastatingly real and his struggle makes him that much more captivating. I absolutely loved how Courtney Cole further unraveled Pax in this novel, diving into his long held feelings about addiction as well as his lingering misconceptions and personal denial. At times the writing was so powerful that I could feel Pax’s conflict, experiencing both his emotional and physical turmoil for myself. Courtney Cole has put so much of her heart and soul into this character that his thoughts and feelings practically bleed from the pages, ensuring that Pax is not only entirely unforgettable but guaranteeing that readers will invest themselves in his happily ever after.
“This is where I belong. Not in the oblivion I once craved. I close my eyes, and the blackness is there, behind my eyelids, and once upon a time, I would have disappeared in it gladly. Tonight, though, I think about my wife. I think about my daughter.”
Mila made my heart happy in all the ways she did the first time around and then some. I’d forgotten how much I adored her kind heart and understanding soul. She is the perfect match for Pax in so many ways and I loved being able to once again experience the light she brought to his life. Just like Pax, Mila was put through the wringer in this novel. Courtney Cole certainly didn’t pull any punches, testing her devotion and trust with each gut wrenching turn of events and potential betrayal. Mila’s strength made itself known as she repeatedly demonstrated her unwavering loyalty and unconditional love for Pax and the life they had fought so hard to create. My heart broke for Mila as she dealt with her own insecurities, proving once again that this woman was simply, beautifully human and the kind of heroine you can’t help but root for.
“Love hasn’t failed, babe. I did.”
With My Peace, Courtney Cole demonstrated her phenomenal growth as a writer. Heartfelt, gritty and painfully unrestrained, the author’s understanding of the human condition is utterly astounding and the formidable emotions of Pax and Mila’s story seemed to flow effortlessly from Courtney Cole’s pen with an authenticity that is unparalleled. My one issue with the novel was the pacing. There were moments where too much was happening at once – too many issues being brought to light or being resolved at any one time – that the storyline lost some of its clarity. For instance, I never quite understood if Pax’s initial accident was in any way tied to the events later on in the book. However, despite the confluence of events that seemed to drown Pax and Mila’s carefully constructed world, the overall statement of their story was not lost. I loved the gripping honesty with which their journey occurred and I respected the way in which Courtney Cole so perfectly captured the unpredictable and devastating nature of addiction. An absolute must-read, My Peace is a profound and fearlessly reflective story of life, love and the wars we wage to secure them.
I announced recently that I based the character of Pax Tate on my twenty-two year old son, Gunner.
Gunner is a drug addict. He’s currently in rehab, and he’s doing well, but it’s been a long roller-coaster of a journey to get here.
Pax’s personality traits are Gunner’s. Even though Gunner’s moods have been mercurial because of drugs, deep down he is strong and funny, charming and sweet. I wanted that to come through in Pax.
(Of course, when I’m writing the “sexy time” scenes, I’m definitely picturing Jensen Ackles or Alex Pettyfer in my head. 🙂
Pax’s heart is as deep as the ocean, even though sometimes, he can be an asshole. I think readers realized that in IF YOU STAY, and that book sat on the New York Times for twelve weeks back in 2013.
Readers have asked for more Pax over the years, and it is only now, that I wanted to add more to the story. It is only now that I have come to terms with the fact, based on my son’s own life, that happy endings must be worked for.
I hope you love Pax’s story.
I wrote it with the ending I want for my own son, one of hope, of happiness and of good health.
I will give anything to make that true.
From my pen to God’s ear.
I hope you enjoy the story. Thank you for reading!
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Don’t miss the rest of the series:
If You Stay (Beautifully Broken #1)
If You Leave (Beautifully Broken #2)
Until We Burn (Beautifully Broken #2.5)
Before We Fall (Beautifully Broken #3)
Until We Fly (Beautifully Broken #4)